This man is suing Apple because listening to his iPod too loudly may be causing hearing loss.
In other news, I will be suing the makers of sharp sticks because I was caught completely off-guard when jamming one into my eye caused me to lose my vision.
Tony Caselli 
I’m suing the makers of my desk because that man forced me to bring my *headdesk* emote into play.
*Headdesk* makes me laugh every time! 🙂
I’m suing the makers of large marshmallows for making me addicted to probing my tongue along the end to find the perfect crevice in which I can weasel my tongue through the entire marshmallow to achieve protruding the tip through to the other side.
*gasps for air on the run-on sentence*
Wow! Between the run on sentence and the whole ‘marshmallow/tongue thing’ I’m at a loss for words. Good to hear from you, though!! 🙂
I’m suing this guy for causing my IQ to drop and for him being a liability to those with commonsense.
See, now THAT’S legitimate litigation material! “Being a liability to those with common sense.” I’m gonna have to start using that on all the stupid people in my life! 🙂