Well, it’s been one of those days. Let’s talk about some things that annoy us.
Well, okay, you can tell me about the things that annoy YOU, but I’m gonna post about the things that annoy ME.
People who don’t return phone calls or emails. Grrr…
The word “Hawesome”. Have you heard or read people using it? I’ve seen it on several websites/journals/blogs and today a guy at Starbucks used it. “Hawesome”?! That’s not even a word, you morons and putting an h in front of the word awesome does NOT increase the power of the word. It makes you look like a freaking idiot.
Store clerks who are rude. I don’t care what your day is like, I’m paying you money – act like you want it, you dolt.
Ridiculous plastic surgery. Jesus God, has anyone seen Joan Rivers lately? That is a scary, scary thing. Dolly Parton? Even Meg Ryan – what the hell happened to Meg Ryan?! Fight the system that’s making you think you must look like a teenager! Fight it!
Speaking of fake and plastic – the Oscars tonight. Normally I don’t mind the Oscars. It was nice to see Wallace And Grommit win. But tonight, as I struggle to make a new theatre company with a tiny budget work, I was a little nauseated by the Oscars.
Improper pronunciation of the word nuclear. Good Lord, you Ignoramus. The word is Nooh-Klee-Urr. Not Nooh-Kyuh-Lurr. You’re the President of the freaking country, please stop embarassing us. I mean, is there no one on his staff who can point this out? No one in the whole freaking White House who can fix this?!
The “Info” screen on TiVo. Okay, TiVo rocks, but every time you change a channel the info screen that tells you all about the channel you’ve landed on stays on the screen for about 20 seconds. Blocking the screen. And there’s only two settings – it’s that, or it’s set to 1/2 second so you can’t read it. Why? Why can’t it have a nice reasonable 3 or 6 seconds? Annoying.
People who, on the highway, drive right up to your bumper at 100 mph so you move out of the lane but THEN as soon as they pass you, pull in front of you and slow down to the same speed you’re going, or SLOWER! Why? WHY!?
Done. I’m done.
Anybody else? Feel free – the floor is open.
Tony Caselli 
I hear you! I was so annoyed today.
My boss acted like a grade-A a-hole.
Seriously, I was so annoyed that I almost cried.
GRRRRR!
However, you’ve not lost your writing touch. “Grade-A a-hole”? That’s genius.
And, remember, all of those people will eventually be smacked by the Karma Fairy, and HAH! to them.
have you seen Cho Revolution? Margaret Cho also has some things to say about our dear President and the word nuclear. it’s priceless.
You know, I’ve seen little tiny snippets of her stuff, but never anything in length – is she funny? I might have to check her out.
That Nuclear thing drives me CRAZY. God.
seriously watch cho revolution asap.
How? Is it on DVD? Or a cable show? I’ll have to do some pokin’ around to find it! Sounds like fun, though!
At the risk of being one of those irritable people who don’t return phone calls, email or (ummm…update their livejournal accounts) (Calephant hangs her head in shame), I thought I should drop you a line Tony 101…
Stuff that annoys the hell out of me (Or as the Vulgar Lesbian Comic Lea Delaria puts it in her book, Lea’s Rules: “things that go up my butt with no lube)-graphic, but you get the point…
1. Standing in line for something and having to listen to other people’s stupid conversations (this also applies to sitting in a theatre waiting for a show to start). Recently, I was sitting in the lobby at a theatre when I had to listen to a guy explain Doll’s House to his wife. “Well, its about this lady…and she’s kinda, well, kinda like flaky…this was written a long time ago….like in 1600 or something…and it was very…people left the theatre…anyways, this lady wasn’t happy cuz her husband was like overly nice to her, so she asks for a divorce…which was like a sin back then…and she takes her kids….and they go and start a new life…she was kind of flaky…etc”
I was in hell.
2. Smokers who throw their butts on the ground. Why is it, if you are a smoker (not all smokers do this…) the world can be your garbage can. I don’t a sucker and throw the stick on the ground. I don’t drive in my car and throw my starbucks out of the window when I am done. Someone else is gonna have to clean that up, dillhole.
3. Gum on the sidewalks. Same principle as above.
4. The fact that it is nearly impossible to get into my student loans page online. My password has to be at least 8000 letters and 100 numbers, is case sensitive and they make me change it every two months or so. What are they afraid of?? Someone will go in and see that I owe 26,000 to the Federal Government and like PAY my loans. There is nothing else in there. No personal information whatsoever. I would like to give my password to the whole world, maybe someone will take pity!!
5. The crap sandwiches who stand outside the Planned Parenthood office by my house with 10 foot posters of aborted fetuses. Yes, they are entitled to their beliefs, yes they have freedom of speech, but I should not have to shield the eyes of my 5 year old nephew when I drive down the street so he does not have nightmares about those pictures. A woman who is making the most difficult choice she will ever have to make in her life, a choice that will change her forever, should not have to be harassed when seeking medical help. I doubt they would like it if I held up giant posters of dead women who died from abortions with coat hangers in back rooms.
Whew….I feel better. Sorry if I got too fired up there. I should actually update my own account once in awhile. This venting feels good!! Thanks Ton!
-Calephant
WOW! In a stunning return from oblivion, comes out of nowhere to win giant accolades and respect with her well phrased list of things that annoy her! Excellent work!!
I could not agree MORE about the giant signs. I am absolutely for freedom of speech, but do not make my 8 year old or 5 year old see those posters, you idiots.
And while I also agree with you wholeheartedly on the smoking and gum issues, I’m not sure I agree on the Theatre Patron thing: I mean, isn’t that what Doll’s House is about? BWAHAHAHAAAAAHAHA!!! *wipes eyes* Hooo boy.
Very nice to hear from you, by the way. 🙂
Other forms of evil
Have you heard about this sicko who is protesting outside soldiers funerals? His claim is they died because the US has gay people in it and is evil. You know what A**Hole then move to another country. Several states, including my current home of WI, have passed laws saying he can’t be closer than 500 feet to the entrance to the funeral home. He claims the law violates his rights. What about the rights of the familys to grieve in peace.
Ok so I guess that is one the things that bugs me right now.
Oh and Tony I couldn’t agree more that idiot in charge is one of the worst public speakers ever and he is the leader of the free world. Kind of scary if you ask me.
Later
Spencer
Re: Other forms of evil
There is actually a group of bikers, Patriots on Wheels, or something like that, that is riding to the funerals that this moron is protesting at, and setting up camp between that idiot and the family at the funeral. Personally, I think I would just kill him and save his God the work.
He is actually going to these funerals and protesting by saying that IED’s (improved explosive devices) are Gods way of punishing the US for supporting homosexuals. OH, and he is a MINISTER. It’s a wonder why I don’t believe in God, or church.
Dom
Re: Other forms of evil
Oh brother. I had not heard about either of those groups. (Good to hear from you, Spence!).
Man, that’s amazing. That guy is gonna get himself killed by a group of angry, grieving gays. (Which is a scene rife with both tragedy and comedy, and now I’m thinking of how to write it into a play…) I love that there’s a biker group dedicated to getting in this guy’s way!
Yeah, Dolly Parton kind of freaked me out at the Oscars.
I know!
I love Dolly Parton – she’s a strong, successful woman with what, from my distant perch, seems like a good soul.
But, Dolly, what the hell did you do to your face?!
I hate the people that don’t get out of my F*****G way when I am blasting along at 100 MPH.
So last Saturday, the lovely wife and I go to the Williamston Theatre for a bit of illumination. We had to get gas at the station right by the freeway, It was COLD that day, and the credit card machine on the gas pump wasn’t working, so I had to go inside. The attendant (read tattooed, pierced, moron) told me I had to use my card INSIDE, but he couldnt do it until I was done. Back outside, pump gas, back inside. So I asked the moron, “Why don’t you go outside and put a sign up so people can skip the 2 extra trips?” His answer, “It’s cold” So, I lost it. “Don’t go to any lengths for the job, man. I told him to expect an entire life complete with less than average jobs, and to keep jumping from one bad $150 tattoo to the next, and also to remember to rotate the tires on his house al least once a year, to avoid flat spots.”
I feel no remorse about this explosion, cause the woman behind me was laughing hysterically.
Oh, and because, I too, am a tattooed, pierced, freak.
BWAHAHAHAA!!
I absolutely agree, and I can’t believe I didn’t list it originally! Man, I hate that whole “pay inside first” thing when you CAN’T because you don’t know how much it’s gonna take to fill the tank, and they make you walk back out and pump it and then come in again! Oh, that annoys me!