Sadly, Prince is getting a divorce.

Reportedly, his ex-wife-to-be has issued a statement:

“He’s just too funky for one woman to keep to herself. I mean, he’s Prince. He’s playing the next Superbowl! He belongs to the world.”

Okay…I may have made that statement up.

But I bet she said something like that.

Then, as the purple rain fell, she finished with a high pitched scream, spun twice, did the splits and came back up into another double spin, dropped her mic stand and walked offstage as a flock of weeping doves passed overhead.