Whirling…that’s what my mind is doing tonight.

Busy day. So many things going on. So many things to do.

Every Christmas Story Ever Told!! calls to me – the script is on the table, where I’ve been reading it, calling…Come do your prep work! Your show will suck if you don’t do your prep work! And, no question, I need to do it. In fact, I want to do it, it’s a fun, funny show. But right now I don’t want to sit over there. I want to sit here. This is called procrastination. See it in action.

Of course, that’s just one of approximately 11,003 projects I need to do right now. Read that script, do all the prep work. Read the rewrites of Flap, the summer show at WT, and schedule auditions for it. Read a script and contact the guys at another theatre about the potential collaboration we’ve discussed. Ask the gerbils to stop making so much noise as they run around their little wheel in the other room while I’m trying to type. Pay the bills on my desk. Clean up some of the kids messes. Answer my emails. Find a way to get rich, or at least close. Figure out what I’m going to talk about at the class where I’m guest lecturing. Get my insurance/registration transferred to the “new” used car I just bought. Journal about the “new” used car I just bought.

I bought a car today. A used car, but it’s new to me. A great deal, and it’s in great shape. It only has 33,000 miles on it, which makes it a brand new little infant still in the box kinda car compared to my 1997 Ford Escort, which has 192,000 miles on it. Yes, that’s the right amount of numbers. It’s been ridden hard. And tomorrow I transfer plates and paperwork to the nice new Chevy Lumina that now sits in my driveway.

Which means I need to clean out the Escort. One more thing to add to the list that’s got my mind whirling already. Not sure why, normally my mind doesn’t whirl at big lists. Normally I can organize, pare down, prioritize, strike while the iron is hot.

Right now, though. Right now I’m all over the place. That list I started above gets much longer, if I let it…

Hmmm….possibly a little stream of consciousness rant will help.

Didn’t get World Series tickets today, so that was a bummer. Tried, but couldn’t get through on the phone OR internet before they were sold out. Shouldn’t be spending the money anyway, but for this once-in-a-lifetime thing, we would’ve. Annoyed that out of 4 home games in a stadium with 40,000+ seats, the Tigers released 10,000 today. I mean, a little math says they had over 160,000 seats. Subtract season ticket holders, what the players/MLB/TV contracts get, and you only have 10,000 left?! So, annoyed about that. Still, it’s the only thing about baseball in Detroit that’s not got me in a dream state pinching myself, and I’ll get better views of the game on my tv, so who am I to complain? And, I got a nice “new” used car today, so how about a little silver lining Mr. Glass is half empty?! And what is with the bitter thoughts today?! Over a year ago, in this very journal, I made a decision to not let the ugly people on the fringes of my life have an impact any longer, and yet today I kept wandering into that territory, finding myself cursing the fact that people of the absolute worst quality can be achieving success. I gotta be honest, that just pisses me off, and today I let it piss me off more than I have in at least a year. Not sure what set it off, but at least I realized what I was doing, and reminded myself that, partly because of that realization that the ugly people only had an effect on those who allowed it, I’ve had a spectacular year. So – got over that. It was annoying to even deal with it at all, though! Possibly I’m just tired, which is helping the whole “whirling” thing pick up speed. Lots of tossing and turning the last couple of nights, not sure why…possibly a milder version of the whirling mind syndrome. *sigh* Sat in front of the TV for a bit tonight – enjoyed Heroes and Studio 60. Anybody else watching those? I really liked Heroes tonight, although I did not enjoy the writing of Mohindar’s character at all. Still, it had a spectacular “to be continued” moment at the end!! And Studio 60 was the best it’s been. That was some good Aaron Sorkin writing, and I liked it a bunch. I hope there are more episodes like that on the way. In fact, watching good Aaron Sorkin inspires me to make better plays, and do better at what I do. I think that’s one of the things I like about his characters (yes, I know the criticism that they all sound the same…and some of that is justified, but I usually like his work a lot so too bad!) The thing I like is that while they’re all flawed, they all want something badly. They all want things to be better than they are, whatever the project. That inspires me. In fact, I have a TiVoed episode of the new Doctor Who that I was thinking of watching as I paid bills and did some paperwork, but I liked Studio 60 so much that I want that to resonate for a while longer, so I think I won’t watch Doctor Who tonight. Instead I’ll type this and look at the to-do list I’ve written in my notebook and try to prioritize and pare down, and then I’ll go to bed and see if I can’t get a good night of sleep so I can tackle tomorrow with some energy. Tonight Max asked me to come snuggle him in bed, and while we were snuggling he said “You haven’t sung me a lullaby in a long time.” I was surprised, because usually he likes stories instead of lullabies, but I started to sing Tell Me Why, and he said “That’s the one I was wanting!” I sang through it a couple of times, and he was out. It’s been a while since he fell asleep with me like that. I got to just lay there with him snoring gently on my arm and think about how big he’s getting, where he’s going, that sort of thing. Which, of course, immediately made me think of where I’m going, and if I’m giving him enough and if I’m being productive as a person, husband, father, provider, director, theatre artist, theatre professional, blah blah blah and so I was right back from the snuggling to the whirling mind in a matter of minutes! Nothing like seeing your son sleeping and thinking “Oh my God how are we going to pay for his college?” to get your head spinning! *laughing* Okay, enough ranting. I think it’s time to wrap this up.

Some days just feel less put together properly than other days, don’t they? It’s odd how so many good things can happen in a day, and yet you can still wander through it with that feeling like you’re just not quite gripping the handlebars tightly enough. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe on those days, we need to grip a little less tightly? Maybe instead of fighting the whirling, we embrace it for a day. Maybe.

The rant sure felt like it helped, if that’s any indication.