Clash of the Egos!

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Okay, big celebrity news:

Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell are in a fight.

See, Donald (who owns the Miss USA pageant) and Rosie disagree. Donald gave a pardon to the current Miss USA, who has become a party girl alcoholic. He said if she went to rehab, came back as a role model, she could keep her crown.

(That’s only fair, I think. I mean, she IS pretty. Those people are SUPPOSED to get the benefit of the doubt.)

“WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!”, Said Rosie in her opening salvo. She complained that Donald has had a couple of wives, a couple of affairs, and shouldn’t be the role model for 20 year old women in America. OOOOOOH, SNAP!

Donald said Rosie was a disgusting slob. OUCH! A DIRECT HIT!

Rosie countered with “He’s been bankrupt!” OOOOOOH!!! LOLZ!!11!

Donald launched back “I’ve never been bankrupt! I’ll sue her! It’d be fun to take some money from her fat-ass pockets!” OMG OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!

SUDDENLY, THE CROWD GOES WILD, WITH DONALD’S SUPPORTERS ON ONE SIDE AND ROSIE’S ON THE OTHER! FIGHTS ARE BREAKING OUT EVERYWHERE! ONE MAN IS HITTING A WOMAN WITH HIS “APPRENTICE” TOTE-BAG WHILE SHE SMACKS HIM IN HIS BIG HAIR WITH HER BIRKENSTOCK SANDAL! THERE ARE BRIEFCASES AND KOOSH-FLINGERS EVERYWHERE! IT’S TOTAL CHAOS!!

INTO THE FRAY WADE ROSIE AND DONALD, WHO HAVE BOTH PRODUCED LIGHT SABERS!!(??) DARK CLOUDS ROLL IN, THE GODS ARE ANGERED BY THIS CLASH OF THE TITANS! THE SKIES GO DARK, RAIN AND THUNDER PUMMEL THE MOB AS LIGHTNING CRASHES ALL AROUND!!

I LOVE this stuff! I mean, who doesn’t want to take time away from their own petty little problems (paying bills, raising kids, war, racism, poverty, world hunger) to deal with the REAL issues of the world: Important things like “Why does Rosie O’Donnell keep talking?” and “Is Donald Trump’s ego actually about to be challenged by Rosie’s, or does he remain the biggest self-interested loudmouth out there? It’s too close to call, folks!!”

This, my friends, is riveting. RIVETING! Forget the holidays, I’m getting a 6-pack, sitting in front of the television, and watching E! Entertainment News for the rest of the week.

4 thoughts on “Clash of the Egos!”

  1. I’m more interested in why Brittney Spears isn’t allowed to her familys Christmas celebration for her constant partying and being a bad influence on her younger sister by getting tattoos with her.
    That’s real problems there, man. I mean, hellllloooo? How much of a problem is it to get a tattoo with your younger sister? That’s just…outrageous!

    • Britney, Britney, Britney…
      Britney, the poor lass, needs to watch Rosie and Donald to get a real feel for how to annoy me. I can almost forgive the silliness of the young and dumb. It’s the people who life should’ve taught lessons to already that I most find loathsome.

  2. OOOOOOH!!! LOLZ!!11!
    They’re well matched, aren’t they? If there is still that show Celebrity Death Match going on, it’d be appropriate.
    Mind you, they’re doing pretty well at being unreal without involving claymation.

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