It’s far past when I should be sleeping, and despite being exhausted I’m having a hard time sleeping.
Lots running through my head.

Plus, my mouth hurts. Dentist appointment today. Working on getting my whole self a little healthier, and the dentist trip was one of the things to get done. I’ll have another in about 3 weeks to wrap up what was begun today.

The “getting myself healthier” thing is one of the things running through my head tonight, although it’s not one of the major things. Still, I’m also working on some other physical ailments, nothing major, but enough stuff where I finally went “Okay, I’m not 20 anymore, and I want to be around for my kids for many more decades.” (and by many more, I’m thinking at least a couple dozen. I really need modern science to catch up with my delusions of grandeur.)

The biggest things keeping me up now, I suppose, are my to-do lists – the lists (family, work, house, career, health, etc…) are numerous, and of course, like everyone’s lists, the stuff on them could go on forever. It’s not just the stuff on them, though – lately I’ve felt like I’m skating a little, and it’s frustrated me. I think, in truth, that I’ve been in a little bit of a funk. Not sure if it’s “burnout”, or just “being tired”, or what, but I hit a point this summer where I think I just checked out for a bit. Started getting done only what needed to get done, and not moving forward in any meaningful way. Work wise, it’s been busy: getting Williamston Theatre up and running, getting through our first season, plus going out of state to direct two productions in totally new settings – that’s all been wonderful, and I’m certainly not complaining. I’m also realizing that I have to take care of myself a little more, though.

The last few weeks, it’s been nice feeling like I’m coming out of that funk. Lord knows, we all get tired sometimes, and need a breather, and now that I’ve realized what I’ve been doing, it’s a relief to find a little more enthusiasm, a lot more drive, and all of my excitement about the future again. It’s the big picture that I’d lost track of – and in doing so, I let a lot of the little things slip away as well. Funny, that. When you start just doing things because they should be done, without really focussing on WHY or HOW…you can lose your way.

Family, work, recreation, meaningful actions.

Less bullshit, more awesomeness.

Tonight, though, my goal is to try to get some sleep.