…for Leaving Iowa has been going well. I’m a big fan of this play – I think it’s funny, and sweet, with a beautiful ending that gets me every time. Tomorrow is the day off for the cast, and while they’ll probably spend it looking at lines and doing actor homework, I’ll be spending it partly on Artistic Director/producer stuff, partly on Director stuff like figuring out the best way to attack A) the final 20 pages and 2) the next several days of rehearsal.

I’ll also be spending it partly on waiting for repair guys to come to our house: our water softener needs some work. Well, technically it’s not work, it’s a checkup/maintenance thing.

So, tomorrow will be some family time, some work for work, some work around the house, and watching somebody work around my house.

But, truth be told, I’m at that point in rehearsal where, no matter what else I’m doing, the rehearsal is always in the back of my mind. Much like my wife and kids, who are always there in the back of my mind (like “Oh, Maggie would love that! I’ll tell her about it tonight!), the family making the play is always in the back of my mind during the production process (“Oh, I just figured out what action to give her for that moment!). It’s a very similar thing: each cast and crew that come together form a type of family for a while. Whatever is going on, I’ll have that little itch of “What will help this moment work better, this transition become clearer? Are the actors comfortable, feeling safe? How do I help them feel comfortable and get the best performances out of them? Is my work up to par, or am I failing at any particular moment or aspect? Blah blahblah…..”

On this show, though, it’s an even more interesting thing: This show is all about family. A husband and wife, in their 30’s or 40’s, driving around with their kids, a boy and a girl. Although the details are different, the dynamics are very similar to my own family! Which means I’m bringing a whole new thing to the table with this show – my own kids… AND my relationship with them. For the first time, I’m really really seeing my life as a Dad impact what I’m doing. I mean, sure, being a father has had an impact on my work over the past 10 years, how could it not? But the difference is this: 4 years ago I directed this same show, and I thought it went really well. (I wasn’t the only one who thought that, it DID go really well.) I also think it’s going really well this time, but this time I’m seeing MY kids up there, and I’m seeing my relationship with my kids, and it’s the first time that’s really happened.

I found myself giving Hugh a note today that was basically It’s that look you give them, y’know, the one that says “Are you TRYING to get grounded for life?!”

And as a Dad, I knew EXACTLY what that meant. 4 years ago, I had an idea, but I wouldn’t have been sure.

Parenting. Directing. Growing up as we grow up.

What a process.