In my silly, silly selfishness (see how I did that, alliterating stuff?) I have neglected to discuss in depth my brother, Dominic. He’s also known affectionately as The Illustrated Man because of his many tattoos (and because, based on his behavior when we were kids, I’m convinced that he wasn’t really born, but that novelist Ray Bradbury invented him like so many other weird sci-fi characters…)
Remember that I’ve mentioned how Gina was born a small Italian girl? Pretty much the same thing for Dominic.
I kid! I’m a kidder!
Actually, Dominic has had a wonderfully colorful life as a young italian man. Let me explain. No, there is no time; let me sum up:
Born about 3 years after me, has never forgiven me for being shorter than him. Was cute as a button during elementary school. Not sure what happened to that. Has a scar on his forehead from where I hit him with a belt buckle (we were, as I recall, playing some version of “Hey, let’s hit each other with stuff”, I wasn’t just RANDOMLY hitting him, it was mutual, the hitting was!) That was last month. I kid! I’m a kidder!
After elementary school came a bunch of years where stuff happened – I’m a little foggy on the details – he wound up joining the Air Force and serving in the Gulf War. After his successful stint in the armed forces, he became an electrician, met the beautiful Alesha, and became married. Somewhere along the way his taste in music became simply atrocious, and now the only bands he’ll listen to are the ones with ‘death’ or ‘smack’ or ‘pain’ in their names (except once in a while he’ll put on an Olivia Newton John album when he thinks no one is watching. “I wanna get PHYSICAAAAAAL, let’s get into physical!! Lemme hear your body talk!!”
Nowadays he can frequently be found playing Xbox Live while listening to “Painful DeathSmack” at extremely high decibels.
Whenever possible, I’ll be playing Xbox Live with him. He’ll probably be winning.
Tony Caselli 
JUSTICE LEAGUE!!!!
Got to
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Yeah…for all you readers of Tony’s little Blog whatcha-whatcha…imagine growing up as the younger, female sibling of these two freaks. Oh, the times we used to have…like when they locked me under the kitchen sink and gave me only a banana with a fork stuck in it for nourishment. And their other favorite, lets-see-if-we-can-stick-her-there spot, on top of the refrigerator. Then there was my personal favorite, let’s make the little sister our slave. Get me a sandwich, get me some Kool-aid, go do this, go do that. If you don’t, I’ll tell Mom you were bad.
And they wonder why I tried to poison Dominic when I was an innocent 5 years old.
Good times.
Lies
Lies. Lies. All Lies.
Who are you? What are you doing here? Are you mocking my Olivia Newton-John loving brother? (“You’re the one that I want, YOUUUUAAAARETHEONEIWANT, Ooh, ooh,oooooohhhoney!”)
None of these things you are accusing Dominic of are true! None of them!
Macauley Culkin did not sleep with my brother when he was 13. I can guarantee you that! And by sleep with, I mean snuggle up to and fall asleep. Nope. None of that. He was home alone. With his pet chimp. He’s bad, he’s bad, you know it, unh-hunh, and the whole world has to answer right now cuz he’ll tell you once again, HE’S BAD!