Interesting…the different sides of “trust”…and how we all choose to use it in our daily lives…
For instance, I really do believe in this quote:
When I’m trusting and being myself… everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
-Shakti Gawain
And one way of looking at “trust” in our world is reflected in this…
The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.
-Henry L. Stimson (1867 – 1950)
But then, there’s another way to look at trust. There’s a part of me that really does believe in this, also:
Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence.
Democritus (460 BC – 370 BC)
…and this…
If we are bound to forgive an enemy, we are not bound to trust him.
Thomas Fuller (1608 – 1661)
This train of thought comes from a discussion I was having with a couple of friends, about trusting people, and I said “I’m not going to trust someone who is not worthy of my trust.” This was a simple statement, but elicited much discussion about trusting, how you know if you can or can’t trust someone, etc… and it got me thinking about it.
I like this, and it relates to why I said what I said above:
Put more trust in nobility of character than in an oath.
Solon (638 BC – 559 BC)
So. Not a post with a tremendous amount of storyline, but a post to help me sort thru this topic. I guess, when it comes down to it, I’m in the middle: I’m not a “Trust Everyone and Everything and Life Will Reward You” person, nor am I a “Trust No One and You Won’t Be Disappointed” person.
It’s funny – a friend with an opinion that I usually value said once “You’re the most pessimistic optimist I’ve ever met!” Maybe that’s it! I like to give people trust and respect until they’ve behaved in a manner that forfeits those things. Most folks, I think, deserve those things. Some people work their way out of deserving those things. I think you have to start out every relationship by giving those things, and then you see what happens.
Tony Caselli 
I agree with you Ton.
And to add to it, I think the most important person to trust is yourself.
You know in your gut if you should trust someone or not. Sure, sometimes you’re wrong, or a person is extremely talented at deception- but the more you listen to yourself, the stronger your inner voice becomes.
I think it’s silly, if not sometimes downright dangerous to trust someone who has proved themselves untrustworthy.
Of course, there’s always exceptions to every rule.
You’re right – it’s gotta start with yourself. And it’s not just trusting “Oh, I can DO this”, it’s also trusting those instincts of “This is a wrong situation” or “This person isn’t trustworthy, I’m not putting my faith in them any longer.” Sometimes those are hard, especially if you’re the one lone voice in a crowd.
Interesting thing, trust.
Interesting topic. I agree too–but then I started thinking about giving trust vs. earning trust. In really thinking about what I do–I guess I do give my trust pretty freely and then if it is broken, it is pretty hard, if not almost impossible, to repair. I do think I am getting better at the intuitive part of knowing who to trust. Maybe….now I am not trusting myself that that is true!!
You know, I agree; I’m often very slow to forgive a betrayal of my trust. Often I won’t at all. Whether it’s the Italian/Scottish part of me, I don’t know. Although I’m quick to trust, I’m much slower to forgive. I can hold a grudge forever! Good or bad, I don’t know.
Uh oh. Does that mean you are holding a grudge for me standing you up for coffee??
You are dead to me.
Obituary for Elizabeth Torrey: Beth was a kind and loving soul whose work with the downtrodden rivaled Mother Theresa. She adopted more children from third world countries than Angela Jolie and built twice as many homes for Katrina victims than Oprah. But alas all good deeds were overshadowed when she failed to appear for a coffee date due to temporary mental illness. Funeral services will be held in Washington D.C. as she is having a full military funeral with a 1000 gun salut. She will be laid to rest in Tony’s back yard where she had asked her ashes to be scattered. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the home of Elizabeth Torrey where her evil twin Moe will be residing and using the money for clothes and shoe shopping.