Yesterday morning, I had an audition.

It was with my son.

For his 2nd grade talent show. (They call them auditions, but it’s mostly a “Show the organizer your bit so they can see it before you do it in front of the whole school” thing.)

He’s doing a skit, called The Amazing Enlarging Machine. I’m doing a guest-spot. In it, there’s a big machine (OR a big refrigerator box jazzed up to LOOK like a machine) in the middle of the stage. Max introduces himself, and says that he’s “invented a machine that makes stuff bigger.”, then he demonstrates by putting a small doll in one side and pushing some “buttons” on the machine, then I (hidden safely inside) throw out a bigger doll to him. “TADA!”, he shows the audience.

He does this with two more items, but the last one gets stuck! As he jimmies with the machine to unstick it, he gets pulled in. Much shaking and hollering, and then I pop out, dressed just like he was. I look around, yell “Oh NO! I GOT BIGGER!! I got a BEARD! Aww…I got kinda chubby, too! Still…I feel REALLY good lookin’! But OH NO! Mrs. Slater won’t let me come to class looking like this! I gotta change myself back!” Then I push a bunch of buttons, jump in, more obligatory shaking and hollering, Max pops back out and says “Whew!! I’m back! I’m little and skinny again! Man, I’m gonna have to watch the sweets!” Then with a wave and a “That’s my show! Thanks!” he jogs offstage (ostensibly to begin a healthy eating regimen that will last him through his 30’s.).

SO, the “audition” went great, and now we’ve got about a month to fine tune, make the machine itself look super cool, and rehearse!