3:15am
Woken by gentle thunderstorm. Listen to sounds of the house. Roll over, return to sleep.
3:30am
Open eyes. Something has woken me, not sure what. Turn head, see daughter standing silhouetted in bedroom doorway, unmoving. Wait a few seconds thinking “please don’t let her be a zombie who tries to eat me”, and ask “Honey, you okay?” while running over my zombie contingency plan in the back of my head. She says “Yep” and walks away.
3:32am
A large thunderclap hits and I decide to check on the kids. Max is sleeping, Maggie was awakened by the storm. Snuggle her for a bit, listening to thunder and watching a lot of lightning through the window. Chat in hushed terms for a minute about storms. Do not mention zombies to daughter.
3:40am
Just as I am about to head back to my oen bed I hear a loud thunderclap. I also immediately hear creepy baby sounds coming from the living room. Hold breath, wonder if Stephen King is writing my night. Baby sounds a second time. Maggie sits up with “Dad! Did you hear that?! Is it Mom’s radio?”.
“Not unless it’s set to the creepy-ass possessed demon zombie baby station” I think, running over THAT contingency plan in my head. But before I can answer, more thunder and spooky infant gurgling from the living room. Maggie says “Oh, no, I know what it is.”. Turns out they bought a new baby doll to give as a present later this week, and it’s supposed to make those sounds. (apparently it doesn’t sound demonic to anyone but me?).
3:50am
Back in my own bed. Lots of rain and thunder. After a couple more outbursts from the Twilight Zone baby in the living room, I put the damned thing at the other end of the house and make a point of NOT looking to see if it’s head turns to watch me leave the room.
Damned Halloween weekend and all it’s scary movies.
3:53am
Lying in bed I hear a tiny far away voice that I think says “I liked the other room better.” Leaning over, I grab my iPhone off the nightstand to write this entry…just, y’know, in case.
Outside, the storm is getting louder.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Tony Caselli 
…how many zombie type contingency plans do you have in your head?
…oh, y’know… a few. Just in case.
You don’t?
I bet you do!
AHAHAHA!
(Ahem)
For some reason, I just pictured the doll walking into your bedroom, then you blowing it away with a shotgun. Classic.
JZ
See, now THAT would be an acceptable Zombie Contingency Plan as well… even though it would be more of a ‘possessed doll’ scenario.
Now that I think about it, the baseball bat is the thing right next to my bed, so it’d probably be me knocking the hell outta the little doll. (Baseball bats are considered a top Zombie defense weapon: No reloading necessary.)
The award goes to Tony for
Teh BEST Halloween Story I’ve read this year!
Dolls are just plain creepy. Like clowns. And mimes.
Re: The award goes to Tony for
YAY! I won a Mary Award! š
Dolls CAN be really really creepy! Especially when the little bastards are talking in the middle of the night for no reason other than obvious demonic possession.
You can never have too many zombie contingency plans. I always have at least 16 or 17.
Great post.
Terri
You have ZCP’s too! I’ve always known we were kindred spirits!
Oh my gosh, that’s a RIOT!!!! I, for one, am super-glad you did not meet your demise at the hand of a demon baby doll. Creepy. š
Thank you for your support of my continued not-being-eaten-by-a-possessed-toy success! š
*laughing*
Sure, laugh all you want. I thought I was gonna wind up banished to the cornfield by Billy Mumy!
(Um… that’s a creepy Twilight Zone reference, for those of you too young to get it…) *laughing*
It is one of the few twilight zones I’d seen rerun on tv as a kid. Pretty much cured me of wanting to see any more. I’m easily creeped out. š