Sometimes you take stock of your life, and realize that you have some apologies to make.

I thought I’d get a few of those out-of-the-way today.

First, to my wonderful wife. After going to the midnight showing of “Star Trek Into Darkness” last night, I slipped into the house at about 3 AM. When I did, our yappy little dogs started barking like mad, waking my wife in that
OHMYGODWHATISHAPPENING?!? kinda way. Sorry about the heart attack, Honey.

Next, I need to apologize to that raccoon I met on the way home last night. I’m pretty sure that was not how you wanted it all to end, buddy, and I’m sorry about that. (Sub-Apology to the undercarriage of my car: that sucked dude and, judging by those crunching and banging noises, you took quite a beating… but it really was his fault.)

Also, I want to apologize to all those people who use LinkedIn. I keep getting nice requests from people who want to “join my network”, and lots of lovely “endorsements” from nice folks about my work. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what any of that means. I don’t use LinkedIn, I don’t even remember signing up for it, and I’m not even sure what you’re supposed to do with it. So, for now, I’ll add “figure out linked in” to my to do list, and I should be able to get to it around the year 2060.

Other random apologies:

Starbucks, now that I have diabetes I will not be giving you all the monies for all the pumpkin spice lattes. Sorry.

McDonald’s, I need you to come up with a quarter-pounder-with-cheese (plus mayo) that is healthy for me, helps my heart get stronger and me skinnier. Until you do that, we are done. Sorry.

To my kids, who are both teenagers now. For the next several years I will do lots of things that will annoy you – sorry. Also no, I will not explain what it means when I close my eyes and wish you into the cornfield. Ask your mother.

Happy Friday, everybody!